It has been a while since my last post. There is a good reason for that. I have been very busy working through Life Coaching school. This will be important in a minute. As for the subject of this post, I am noticing that it is very important. I am seeing more of it in the lives of people I interact with each day. And that subject is relationships — both intimate and everyday relationships.
I woke this morning in full sensory overload. All of my senses were on full. I was feeling a full range of emotions. I was remembering many feelings from my past. My super-hearing was on full. My olfactory senses were picking up smells from across the valley. I could feel the day; a cloudy wet, dark, sunless day. I am feeling the very electricity running through the circuits of my computer as I type this. And as I write this I am still on sensory overload. Yet, it feels good. It feels normal.
Several Paranormal Investigators I know and deal with are indeed, Highly Sensitive, some are Empathic, some have really good medium capabilities. A few I know refer to the dead as physically challenged. A rather humorous way of referring to spirits. But just the other day, the thought came to me, that the spirits must think of us in a different way. Most near death experiences describe that when we die, and become all spirit again, our senses come alive. We don’t feel in the physical sense. But we do feel people when they are thinking about us. We see energies in their full spectrum of colors. We hear in a much broader spectrum, from normal everyday sounds to the very thoughts coming from the hearts and minds of others.
“So what is your point?”, you ask. My point is this — we are wired different. And because of this, we experience life much more different than the average person. We are sensory rich. We feel our way through life. Most people don’t. Most people pay no attention to a greater part of what we normally see, hear and feel. So now I can hear most of you saying, “Duh. We know this already. Quit wasting our time.” Please pay attention to this next statement. It is because of these differences that we have relationship problems that are much more magnified than normal.
My wife is highly sensitive, thank goodness. She kind of gets me. She kind of understands me better than most people. But some of my past relationships were not as easy. And even now I still have times when I just cannot explain what I am feeling to my sensory challenged, yet awesome on so many other levels, wife. Some of the training I am going through involves relationship training. I am waking up to many new ideas about relationships that I had never known. And some I did know, but did not pay attention to.
First off, we attract people. Our auras are more electrically charged. And people feel this. They come to us for advice and to just have someone to listen to them. This makes it difficult to find a partner who is not seeking us for these reasons, but is seeking us for a real relationship. Loving us for who we truly are. When looking for a partner, it is important for us to pay attention to this fine detail and make sure we are not just in a giving only relationship, but that we are marrying someone who gives back as much as we give naturally.
Second, we need to pay attention to our partners. As we begin to wake up to our abilities, we begin to want to improve ourselves and become more capable so that we can better serve those around us. But in doing so, we forget that our partners are sometimes not interested in improving themselves the same way we feel we need to. They don’t feel that need to help others that we as Empaths do. They are happy with the way things are. Or are more interested in learning different subjects. Subjects that are not quite centered on improving themselves so that they can better serve others. They start to feel uncomfortable with what we are learning because they do not see, hear and feel what we are learning the way we are learning it. So it feels like both of you are growing apart. Really you are, if you do not do a few important things.
Always practice reassuring your partner. Let your spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend know that you value them and care for them. Make it a point to do at least one nice thing for them each day. Also, sit down and make a list of the things that you like about them. Then each day, either alone with them or in front of other people, point out how awesome they are because of one of the items on your list. Do it in a natural non-forced like way so that it feels good to them. Help your partner know that you really are not leaving them in the dust, but that you care for them enough to want to better serve them, and others. But most importantly, reassure them that you really still, and always will, truly love them.
Remember, our partners are not going to be Highly Sensitive or Empathic. Maybe some will be. But on the average most won’t be. They are not as sensory rich as we are. We can privately refer to them as sensory challenged, even though spirits can still refer to us Empaths as sensory challenged. Isn’t perspective just crazy? Just the same, we have to be aware of this, and be more reassuring and give more attention to our partners. Especially when we just don’t feel like it. Become better actors and actresses and do it anyway. We will feel more love and send out this feeling of love towards our partners the more we practice reassuring and giving them attention. While it may feel false and frustrating to us at first, we will eventually find that it helps our relationships.
Be smart. Nurture and build-up your one true ally in this world. Your partner is there for you and knows a lot about you. They can be your main support during the toughest of times. Make sure you help them feel how important they really are to you:)
Light and Love,
The LDS Empath